THE POWER OF GOODBYE

As a funeral director’s daughter, I always thought I knew the funeral business. I’ve even lived above the funeral home.

However, not until recently have I come to understand the importance and emotional value of the funeral itself.

Last week, my 17 year-old cousin, Andy, died in a car accident and my family was absolutely devastated. Andy died early Saturday morning and by noon there were over 50 aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and neighbors gathered at my Uncle Greg and Aunt Michele’s house. The immediate family was a bit hysterical, but the elaborate support system that had formed at my aunt’s house was grounded in faith, love, and shared suffering.

By four o’clock Wednesday evening, the night of the funeral, the support system had multiplied fourfold. The line to see Andy and to greet and hug my aunt and uncle went out of the church narthex, through the door, and out into the parking lot. Never before had I seen such an amazing display of love and support. Emotions were running high, but Andy’s visitation was our chance to cry on each others’ shoulders and share stories – the good, the bad, and the ugly.

My aunt and uncle looked exhausted when the line to see Andy was cut off so the funeral could start on time, but for some reason, they also looked a little better than before. They were surrounded by love.

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